Help I’m trapped in a circle!

Love loves everyone,

…except the people who defend the necessity for a queue when there is no blinding point!

TESCO recently introduced a salad bar in their supermarket near where I work. I have frequented it with colleagues on many occasions since its grand opening. I am sure that they weren’t expecting people like me and my colleagues and had prepared to welcome  the people who think like sheep and behave like sheep category.

Over time, we have established various strategies and techniques to maximising the amount of salad that we can gather into our ‘little buckets of joy’, occasionally taunting each other with grand statements of ‘I’m a PRO at this GAME’ across the rectangular salad bar at the bemusement to others, who silently shuffle their way round.

I do understand that there may be some moral objections to the TESCO salad bar, but to beat the system you have to join it right…

The more popular frequenting the salad bar has become with local worker bees, the higher the chance that you will be welcomed by the sight of a good old fashioned British tradition, a queue.

I hold my hand up and do state that there are certain social benefits to having a queue, but believe that whoever starts the queue is the King of the queue and decides upon the queue’s rules…. However, at what point does a queue start and when that point has been reached and that queue starter leaves, has a new queue started. A tricky subject.

Pointless queue’s anger me. I was needing just the finishing touches to a masterpiece salad when I realised that this queue was going nowhere. It had in fact turn into a ring of people holding empty ‘buckets of joy’ circling the salad bar. People standing holding an empty ‘bucket of joy’ and blocking bowls of various salad options because in their little minds they were observing and following the rules of the queue, without actually knowing the rules of the queue!

I left this circular queue that had been created around me and walked around towards where the bowl of carrot shavings had been placed. I hesitantly approached a woman holding an empty bowl and a blank expression on her face, who happened to be beside the bowl of shaved carrots. Somewhat surprised that instead of dipping into the bowl of delicious looking shaved carrots, she was standing facing the other direction.

I thought that this was most peculiar, as the man she was facing was also doing the exactly the same, as the person in front of him was…. I started to think that there was something wrong with the shaved carrots!

 “Excuse me, will you be having any of the shaved carrots?”

 “I think you will find that there is a queue!

 “Oh that’s alright, I just want to have some carrots” (gesticulating using my soon to be complete ‘bucket of joy’ – hoping that she would understand that I was close to completing what I had started)

“Well I just need carrots and then I’m off….(hmmm while I’m here I will quickly pop some sweetcorn on there. cheeky)

 I make a sharp exit and bid my farewell to the queue police;

 “There you go, one less person in the queue”


 People just walking round and round and round. Where does one join. Where is the end of this queue, does anyone know? This person could have been shuffling in a circle around this salad bar for the whole of her lunch break!

If the queue is pointless, break the queue! So the moral of my queue jumping experience. Just because there are lots of people standing in a circle trying to get somewhere, never assume that they have exhausted all other possible options of how to get to where they want to be, maybe they just like standing in a circle.

 X S

War Of The Rolls

Reply Letter from Customer Services at Tesco:

Dear Rev. Wicks,

Thank You for contacting us.

I was very sorry to learn the details of your complaint; I understand how disappointing this was for you.

We aim to provide the best service possible at all times and we were troubled that you were unhappy with the service you recieved.

We realize though, this is the third complaint from you of this nature on the bread rolls stocked in our bakery department and regret that we cannot enclose another £5.00 Tesco Money Card to you on this occasion,

Thank You for taking the time to contact us, we will pass on your complaint.

Yours Sincerely,

Susan Weighborough

Bunch of cheapskates.

Much Love, T x