A conversation with a drunk…

Dear Lovers,

The other night, I was walking back along the Strand.

What I didn’t expect to see was a utterly smashed man ‘suited and booted’ standing pretty much in the middle of street urinating. As I approached I decided that this behavior was just ungentlemanly and I won’t tolerate it, especially since I was holding it in until I got to Oscar Wilde’s portable toilet.

So I gave him a rollicking “That’s disgusting, your disgusting”. Obviously at distance from being sprayed. He muttered some threatening grumbles about how he was going to fight me, as he fought to try and not urinate on his own heavily polished soon to spoiled ‘smart’ shoes.

I then advised him of the portable toilet near the Oscar Wilde monument and he preceded to take one step forward and one step back.

I received a thumbs up from a passerby and some friendly people started taunting the unlucky drunk chap. Not noticing a friendly woman filming me and him, I started to give him a lecture on responsible drinking and responsible weeing, as he started to hug a homeless woman in a wheel chair who was having non of it and set her uber-passive dog on him. It was all a very British-like.

It reminded me that in Japan, it’s actually legal for businessmen to urinate in public. I think we should stand up more against this ‘suit and booted’ aggression on our streets! Then this afternoon, a pleasant weekend stroll to a city centre cafe and a walker crashes into the back of me, huffs and tuts and then continues to storm around the corner. ( Hey, I’m walking ereeeeeee)

So I shouted out I did;

“Hey, you walked into me….!”
Walker turns and looks behind at me, while continuing to walk at speed..
“Yeah but I didn’t say anything”
How fun it would have been if he crashed into the Scientologist standing in front of him at that point!
“Yeah exactly, you walked into me and tutted buddy. Have a nice day”

This aggression will not stand!

X S

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