Whilst lying sloth-like in my hotel room scratching myself, I was watching a German music channel and came across Milow’s Michel Gondry-esque video for the song You And Me. I only started to pay attention around the second verse when I realized the apparent cutesy lyrics were in fact the ramblings of an obsessed psychopath. May I turn your attention to fig #1 –
“I wish you were a little slower
Not just slow but paralyzed
Then I could plug you into a socket
So you could never run away”
Now, sweet corny lyrics aside, if I was to say this to my girlfriend I think she might, whilst humouring me for reasons of worry and wellbeing, be reaching for the phone or the cutlery drawer.
Lastly just to show you it wasn’t a one off moment of serial killer madness, let me draw your attention to fig #2.
“I wish you were a little bigger
Not just big but really fat
Doors you would no longer fit through
In my bed you would have to stay
I often wish that you had feathers
I’d keep you in a giant cage
All day long I’d sit and watch you
I’d sing for you and that would be okay”
I rest my case.