I was on the underground today on a busy train sitting next to a man who was doing sufficient damage to my kidneys with his chubby little elbows everytime he turned the page of his newspaper and opposite a lady.
This lady kept looking at me, in that sort of ‘you’re twenty three, I’m probably old enough to be your Mother even though I’m still quite hot and yes I am flashing my lady parts at you and I know this because my legs are wide appart and you’re looking at me with an expression of mild terror and obvious arousal so I’m going keep me legs open and look at you with an expression intent to kill’ kind of way.
I’ve never had an erection of fear before but like that suncreen song says: ‘Everyday, do something that scares you’. There you go Baz, that one was for you. Eugh.