Dear Lars Von Trier,

Love the new film and shit. The thing is, you can’t make a scene in a film where there is hardcore lovemaking and have something disturbing in the background. It ruins it for almost everybody, use your brain. The only reason a guy is going to be pursuaded by his girlfriend to go see this movie (who thinks the arty shots and slow motion scenes make up for the fact this film is just about fucking) is because it has boobs in it. For quite alot of it. If the boobs are obscured by a disturbing suicide scene then it’s going to take away the ‘joy’ of the boobs.

Obviously fair play to you pushing the boundaries of peoples gag reflexes with genital damage near the end and opening scene invloving a penis in slow motion; lots of people to my shock have gone, ‘I was really impressed on how honestly the sex was portrayed.’ I wasn’t so much impressed. I felt it a bit wierd. In a cinema screen, that penis thrusting in slow motion is at least forty foot long, with a girth similar to that of a light aircraft…And you don’t (always) have to show everything involving genitals in a close up, for a long period of time in such graphic detail. I could’ve happily lived the rest of my life not seeing the lady in it gradually go mental and take the scissors to her lady parts. Unecessary mate. You could’ve hinted at it, I agree. Maybe show the exterior of the house with screaming. Or possibly a sillhoetted hand with scissors in a bedroom lamp light. All of which would be better than actually showing that.

Anyways, stop making scenes involving sharp objects with genitals, or penises with slow motion. Then we can all sleep at night without worrying about dreaming of the giant slow motion penis coming in through our bedroom window in the small hours. Again.


Thom Wicks (fan)


2 thoughts on “Anti-Christ

  1. sounds like an interesting film i should take my boyfriend to.

    and: nothing wrong with dreaming of giant penises

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