Yesterday was my good friend Ori’s birthday. We went to eat sushi which was expensively delicious. I also had a few beers which were expensively crisp and refreshing.
I was travelling home on the tube in a semi drunken daze when my attention was stolen by an amorous couple sitting opposite me, necking. They were going at it like a couple of slobbering Rottweilers.
Speaking of dogs, as Kang and Kodos were quite clearly the centre of attention I decided to take advantage and stare at a few other folks round about me. I couldn’t help but be struck by how ugly everybody was.
I realise exactly how superficial and horrible that sounds but I think there’s more to it than mere genetics.
In my enlightened drunken state I hypothesised that London itself must make ugly monsters of people; expensive stress, expensive pollution, expensive pace of life in general. Perhaps the expressions of misery stem from the one common factor; expense.
Maybe evil advertising firms such as JWT have, as most people say, provided us with a false sense of beauty. But if the Toky(ans?) can cope with an even more stressful working environment, an even higher pace of life, and an even more expensive city, then how come they don’t all look like monsters? Sushi.
Happy birthday, once again, for yesterday Ori.