Dear Phil Collins,

Hope you’re good. I am writing to you to let you know that you are the man and if you are up to it, i’ll let you produce my solo album. I think you should produce it because basically, every one of your songs are bitching. Everyone loves you, even though they all deny it and listen to cool music. Your music is not cool. It’s so much bigger. I know everyone writes some wank, and you’re no exception, I wasn’t too keen on Easy Lover (too sexual for you) or Sussudio (too hip for you), or any of those soundtracks of toss you did for Disney films when times were tough. That’s what they were Collins. ‘Brother Bear’ wasn’t it? I think it was ‘Brother Bear’. Wasn’t impressed fella, not at all.  I didn’t believe you in them, that was the problem.

I happen to think that ‘I Wish It Would Rain Down‘ was a true classic though, as was ‘Take Me Home‘ and everybodys favourite ‘Against All Odds.’ Timeless. Let me take you back to 1985 when you sang that track at Live Aid with crap hair and good vocal embelishments. Oh, I have the youtube link, would you look at that. There you go mate, no worries. Just watch that and take me there in the studio. All the way there…

So let me know brother and we’ll lay down some tuneage.

Lots of love

Thom Wicks (fan)


2 thoughts on “Phil.

  1. haha, brilliant!

    Dont forget In The Air Tonight, the best track to shag on trains if you happen to be Tom Cruise.

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