Don’t get me wrong, I don’t pride myself on a lot of things, but today I was on the tube to work when an old lady fell over as the train pulled away. Out of instinct I helped the old crone up as a few onlookers gave a shit from a distance. She was ever so grateful and I felt quite the man. The driver saw this happen (not that he moved a hair on his arse to help before I begrudgingly stepped in.) I think he silently appreciated my efforts but then upon doing his ticket inspection I realised I didn’t have a ticket for the three stops I travel. He was not pleased. I knew he was going to fine me. I felt it in his tomato face. I had a spot of luck when we pulled into Greenwich and he had to take his attention away from bellowing at me through chubby lips. So I ran. Don’t judge me.